I want to sing, my throat is hoarse, I want to love, but love is lost.

I gave enough, I gave the most, and went from fine to only worse.

I knocked so long, but door was closed, I tried and waited through remorse.

I hoped and prayed, ignored the cost, ignored the silence and the frost.

Perhaps, the sun will never shine, when locked in fear, pain, and guilt.

Perhaps, the fault was never mine, but how audience was built.

I didn’t fail to revive the wonders floating in the sky.

I lived my days, I lived my life, and thought that evil was a lie.

And thus, I failed to protect. I’d just ignore, avoid, defect

The very evil in a sin. I tried to prove that love would win.

But pain and fear ran amok, I fought it off for just too long.

Instead of love, I just prolonged the torment of illusive past.

I couldn’t save the world from hate, I couldn’t balance left and right.

I didn’t need to simply wait. It wasn’t peace. It was a fight.

It felt familiar, felt like love, but I confused past love and pain.

I floated freely from above, and fell below, like summer rain.

I’m angry, hurt, confused, and sad, but maybe it already passed.

What I have had, the good, the bad… it doesn’t have to live and last.

I’ll rise again, and looking back will feel like any other day.

I’ll love, I’ll float, I’ll sing again. I won’t give up. This is my way.

The post I want to sing appeared first on Writing by Dmitriy Goldin.

Little girl, you are in a whirl, building walls, confusing goals.

Little girl, in bed you curl, teary pearl, like paying toll.

Won’t be long till you feel wrong, pain extended and prolonged.

Gliding through your life’s song, stand among, like King of Kong.

Little girl, you’re not so little, can’t be lost, or weak, or brittle,

Feels like boomerang to fetal form, and mind is un-reformed.

Uninvolved and scrupulated, haven’t popped, and yet elated,

Dated, rather unrelated. Stated thoughts and now hated.

Re-examined. Comprehended, that it’s time to simply end it.

Blended thoughts were born, and truth hurts, like an infected tooth.

Ruthless concepts and ideas switched to vaya, con, and dios.

Yes, it’s time to just move on. Doesn’t mean that you condone

Worlds emerged from others’ deeds, but it’s better than misfits running round,

So unwound, and demand your duty-bound dedication to a cause.

I’ve regressed again, of course.

Back to changes implemented. When you did it, yes, you meant it.

In that moment, feelings rented to your anger.

Longer, fun, as if a banger, resonating like a ringer.

You’re not only simply mad due to being disregarded.

Feelings warded, gestures guarded. To your life you’re slightly tarded.

Is it time to just announce to the world you’re like a mouse?

In your own you’re a giant, incomplete, but still defiant,

Self-reliant, uncompliant, nimble, simple, like a lion.

When you stumble, you slow down, lose your ground, lost and found.

Yet, your future undetermined, while you go round and round.

Maybe time to just rewind and embrace the constant grind.

Maybe time to live a little, happiness can be so brittle.

Maybe time to look within, life can only be so mean.

And embrace the hate and love. Wait. I think I wrote enough.

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There was a time, it hasn’t passed. There was a chance. It wasn’t wasted.

And past and scars it hastily pasted, the taste of love, no doubt laced it,

I tasted every other dream, but it was wrong, and I erased it.

There was a time and it was fast. There was a thought and now it’s taken.

I lie in bed at night awakened by what I left, as if forsaken,

From bringing home my hopes and bacon, to being simply undefined.

There was a time and still it is. In you, I see but a reflection,

Collection of imperfect diction, misplaced sonnets, evolved erections,

My future, past, my present self, and yet, so different, a half

Of what I knew I always wanted, defining other half anew,

As if I’m clueless in this movie. Am I a star? Director? Mime?

What is my goal, if not to live, develop cool and hip pet peeve,

And find reasons to be whole, as undefined is just a role.

I’ve had so many masks and faces. My past, it often simply paces and waits for me to recognize.

No need for tricks, or secrets, lies, no need to risk and roll the dice.

No need to worry and pull back, no need to always place a price

On everything I give and take, on what I do when I awake,

On where I am, while in my head, which side I take when lie in bed.

I write these words and they are true, cause time has passed and then I grew.

The post There was a time appeared first on Writing by Dmitriy Goldin.

It wasn’t long, it wasn’t hard, it wasn’t all that it could be,

It wasn’t fake, for that – thank G-d, it felt as if the autumn trees.

Emotions falling, changing shade, the branches swing from side to side,

I even asked ‘Are you afraid? I aim to be your own Clyde.’

To be a Bonnie one must trust, but Malorie just fanning flame.

No wonder Mickey had to kill to prove his worth, to hide his shame.

‘Je ne regrette rien’, I said. Too bad you didn’t understand.

Perhaps you did, but it’s too late, there was too much we didn’t plan.

I tried, the way I always do: sincere, honest, with intent.

I gave myself, that’s all I had, I never borrowed what I lent.

I never took, I only asked, too bad I failed to receive.

Perhaps I knew it all along, all this was simply ill-conceived.

The post It wasn’t long appeared first on Writing by Dmitriy Goldin.

Believe in love and open heart. Believe, that you are truly worth it.

Believe, that every step in life has been created to be perfect.

It serves a purpose. How sad, that pain will never lead to pleasure.

It isn’t odd, or wrong, or bad, as life itself in fact is treasured.

Your pain, your hurt, your past, your loss will not define the second chapter.

I know you’re scared, but of course, I am your savior, not your captor.

I wasn’t put on earth for you, but then again, you never know.

Just know, pushing me away does not allow us to grow.

You walk your path and it’s OK. Just be aware, it’s rather lonely,

Unless you let me walk in sync, you will become the one and only.

Tomorrow isn’t bringing peace, unless we build it, and together.

And peace is fragile, moody, naught, and reminiscent of the weather.

Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Marx were all instructive, even caring

Explaining how to live your life, but never ever mentioned pairing.

Two strangers meet and fall in love, creating something out of nothing.

No eagle, stark, or gentle dove, but Eros always triumphs pathos.

Remember that and travel forth, recall the reason that you started.

Accept your luck, drop back and forth. Expose your thoughts. Be openhearted.

The post Believe in love appeared first on Writing by Dmitriy Goldin.

I’ve been dazed and confused for too long,

This is wrong.

I’ve been tested and tempted, and traveled among

The unreal, the ugly, the gorgeous, the lost.

I have built with the pharaohs, ignoring the cost.

I’ve escaped with the gypsies, and built my safeguards,

I have said my goodbyes, often skipping regards.

Been abandoned by those, who were meant to remain,

I’ve been hurt, and perhaps I’m addicted to pain.

Been through fire and water and thought it’s OK,

Taught avoiding the problems and turning to prey.

I’ve been given the tools, explained all the rules,

And cemented the knowledge that people are fools.

I’ve forgotten to dream about treasure and jewels,

Then escaped from it all and skipped all the rules.

I’ve survived and I lost, I’ve endured, and I won,

I’ve accepted my place far away from a throne.

Often wished for a clone, and remained in my zone,

Then I wondered around remaining alone.

Found purpose and dreams, lived in circus extremes,

I’ve expressed every thought through articulate memes.

Tore impregnable seams of the boring routines,

I’ve injected the hurt, like lifesaving vaccines.   

I have danced, I have cried, ran ahead and away,

Learned to live every moment, as if a new day.

I’m not done, not at all, there is much left undone,

I will crawl, if need be, but I’d much rather run.

The post What a ride appeared first on Writing by Dmitriy Goldin.

In New Jersey, she was worth it, damn the fucking GPS.

Window open, hair blowing, all I really see is ass.

When in doubt, cut your losses, get your head into the game.

Wounded, hurting, scarred and damaged, yet somehow still untamed.

Always breaking and destroying, then rebuilding it from scratch,

Oh, so often it’s annoying, but the lessons never latch.

There is cost to every motion, all desire, every wish,

Start commotion, to the wire, freedom’s always so delish.

Broken glass of past transgressions cuts your fingers still the same.

Don’t move on, but learn the lessons, then return to your untamed.

Ringing sound of resistance motivates, but offers grief,

But I can not float in river, all I got is my belief.

If I stop the misbehavior, if accept the status quo,

Might as well just get a casket and climb in to 6 below.

Might as well restart the process, but I like the way I am,

Nevermind the cost and losses, I don’t really give a damn. 

The post If I stop the misbehavior appeared first on Writing by Dmitriy Goldin.

Wink left, dunk right, jab, jab, apricot,

Switching places in the ring, fading slowly, like your ink,

Trading punches back and forth, till your skin no longer pink.

Crowned king, before you sink, tingalinging to sing-sing.

____________

Sitting on a city train, everybody seems insane.

Thus the bane of my existence,  always feeling quirkilicious

Big ol’ Lady come around, thinking I should let her seat,

I don’t get to make a sound, she just pushes to her beat.

She just splashes cross the benches, pushing people left and right,

I evade, as if in trenches, holding breath and angry might.

She don’t like the fast onlookers, cause we’re looking rather mad,

We all know deep within us, try to blink, and we are dead.

Irregardless, ‘what’s the problem?’ has been dealt and gotta deal,

Feeling like a crippled Goblin, swallow harder, like a pill.

‘I don’t know, it’s your city, and it is your dialect,

I’ve offended, what a pity, let me only say ‘Respect ‘’.

Moments passed and she was sleeping, placing hands above her knees,

Feeling foul, like double dipping, all I did was reminisce.

I prefer avoiding squabble, I don’t like to feel so tense,

I’ve arranged my own bubble, I would rather go dance.

____________

Wink left, dunk right, jab, jab, apricot,

Switching places in the ring, fading slowly, like your ink,

Trading punches back and forth, till your skin no longer pink.

Crowned king, before you sink, tingalinging to sing-sing.

____________

Coming back from crazy party, started early, ended late,

Heading home with glamour dripping, late at night I’m what I ate.

Feeling buzzed and elevated, ain’t nobody tell me naught,

Get some grab – unhealthy eating, I admit I got a lot.

Walking slowly to the entrance of my humbly grand abode,

I’m reflecting on the prior, ‘bout which already wrote.

See my neighbor, gently gripping cigarillo in his hand,

Ain’t no pillow more exciting, than some banter, but unplanned.

He’s a chilling skinny friendly marker meant to say ‘hello’,

I’m ignoring all distractions, but to them I am a ‘wow’.

‘You aren’t local, you’re a stranger, I don’t care, that you pay rent.’

I’m collecting their opinions, screw my smiles and consent.

There’s conspiracy between ‘em, I am certain, not confused,

I don’t feel distressed or wounded, I don’t even feel abused.

Harlem pennies made a fortune, I’m still living in the shade,

There is fair, just and proper, but perhaps I’m just a bait.

____________

Wink left, dunk right, jab, jab, apricot,

Switching places in the ring, fading slowly, like your ink,

Trading punches back and forth, till your skin no longer pink.

Crowned king, before you sink, tingalinging to sing-sing.

The post Tingalinging appeared first on Writing by Dmitriy Goldin.

I’m a survivor. Through rain rid of glitter, no rainbow, or dancing, I never turn bitter

Impartial to mud, thou ears are ringing, I float like a butterfly, skipping the stinging

I have been marching. My problems don’t matter, they make me, don’t break me, I’m writing this letter

I view my misfortunes like rabbit sees eagle, it is what it is, let’s hope he won’t get me

I turn to the sun. It’s better up there, it’s shiny and warmer, I make my own lair

I’ve seen the rain drops, I’ve witnessed the sparkles, I’ve caused them, I’ve lived them, I’ve even survived them

I’ve lived and I’ve hurt, I’ll always remember. I walk it alone, I’m no party member.

I always react. To all that life offers. In love and in pain, on thrones and in coffers

I’m never an Icarus, building my hive, I’m a survivor of my own life.

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Knowledge looking at you from the dusty old shelves

Only you never gave you just think of yourself

You don’t know of Plato he will not fill your plate up

You don’t read Manifesto you just getting arrested

You don’t think like a master head for final disaster

You don’t think that Koran been expended upon

You don’t care that your church merit minor research

This is story of lies ignorance and reprise ya’ all

Flying freely through days just to end up in daze

Just to end up in tears keep away from your fears

Talk of building a life talk of being supreme

Only it’ll come down to the bling and the cream

To the hos and the wheels to the pimps and the bills

Marx and Lenin were right this is your own flight

Freedom you never had, life that you never lead

You don’t think you don’t read you don’t ever fight back

You don’t ever create you just follow the trend

You ain’t ever ahead you just try to make bread

You just try to survive yet the world it is yours

You don’t need a true cause all your dreams are on pause

Your ambitions destroyed you are truly annoyed

You are real at times just to fill up the void

You are committing crimes just to say you enjoyed

Being free from the law feel like you’re in the raw

Feel like you got no flow the incestuous flaw

You completely withdraw looking back not in awe

This is the final straw life has become a bore

Time to change your routine, not abort and ignore

Knowledge looking at you from the dusty old shelves

Only you never gave you just think of yourself

You don’t know of Plato he will not fill your plate up

You don’t read Manifesto you just getting arrested

You don’t think like a master head for final disaster

You don’t think that Koran been expended upon

You don’t care that your church merit minor research

This is story of lies ignorance and reprise

Jails filled to the top yet the people are hatin’

Holly Berry’s with white but it wasn’t all matin’

Kanye selling his soul but it isn’t all money

Move to South LA but it ain’t always sunny

Try to be Nostradamus and foretell how it is

Only you’re not the one who will handle that biz

WASPy ruling elite built the Roman empire

Don’t forget that Columbus wasn’t truly a sire

Don’t forget that our states built on lies and deception

Murder 1 is OK if it comes at conception

Black or Latin or white you are free from beginning

Only doesn’t it suck that hypocrisy’s winning

Only doesn’t it suck you will never be free

Cause the power is kept at the local P.D.

You refuse to strike back watching your BET

While the ruling elite eating crackers with tea

There’s no pun in those words they’re just striking accords

Deeper in your routine to explain the unseen

Slaughterhouse by Kurt just repeating the hurt

What you doing to clean intellect from that dirt?

Knowledge looking at you from the dusty old shelves

Only you never gave you just think of yourself

You don’t know of Plato he will not fill your plate up

You don’t read Manifesto you just getting arrested

You don’t think like a master head for final disaster

You don’t think that Quran been expended upon

You don’t care that your church merit minor research

This is story of lies ignorance and reprise

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