When I lose

When I lose, I sink so low, disagreements come to blows,

1, 2, 3, all in a row, drag my ass like stuck in tow,

Never bow, live like wow, take a yes and turn to no.

Paraphrasing holly words and ignoring facts of life.

So, I really can’t complain when I’m caught in heavy rain.

I examine every moment, self-destruction laying dormant,

But sometimes I lose control, give myself new face, new role.

This is life, not playing ball, come alone, come one, come all.

All my games are taking toll, just on me and never others.

I am kind and am empathic, I don’t want to be an ass,

But I look and act entitled, tried and failed East to West

Paint windows full of rainbows, shine all over, ‘cause I care,

But perceptions beg to differ, I win battles on a dare.

I don’t know how it happens, but somehow I pull through

Money, health, and failed dreaming, pocket Aces that I drew.

When I soar I’m way more humble, than when I am at a loss,

Always face the unexpected, always ready for remorse.

Writing keeps me understanding even only of myself,

So, I’m putting this together, my self-therapy compels.